How many times have you given feedback which has seemed to go well only to find shock and surprise the next time it comes up in discussion. It is also worth remembering that, in my experience, the seriousness of the feedback is directly proportional to the potential misunderstanding. So you need to get it right.
Also, remember that giving feedback is hard, so others are unlikely to giving this exact same honest and constructive feedback. This will be confusing to the employee and they will be trying to reconcile the difference of views in their head. You must be clear in your message to ensure that they don't just choose to believe the contrary (easier) feedback rather than yours.
So how do you do this?
1. Clarify and Confirm
In the world of change management (in this case individual change) you need to expect to confirm the feedback 5 to 7 times in order for something it to be understood (Prosci). Don't assume that it was taken in the first time.Repeat, revisit, clarify and continue to give examples as they occur.
2. Increase the Quality of the Feedback
I've seen something similar in the past but the ICO concisely state that good communication is:
- "Defined as two-way, appropriate to the audience, medium and message, and is in correct, clear language.
- Honest, relevant, timely, appropriate, useful, inclusive and authoritative."
Make sure that you are giving the feedback as clear as you can. Practice it if you have to but don't shirk from your responsibility of getting this bit right.
3. Check for Understanding
Check for active listening - Ask for them to confirm it back to you, in their own words. This is a great way to see what they have heard. Repeat the key message if you feel you didn't quite get the response you were hoping for.
4. Regular Reinforcement
If you don't follow it up, they won't think it was more than a passing viewpoint, even if it was thoroughly delivered at the time. Take the time to refer back to it, either in positive changes you've seen or to reinforce continuing issues you are yet to see required improvements in. Do this frequently to ensure the message is understood in that initial period of time.
If you find that things just don't work out then there are unlikely to be no surprises. In many cases, if the employee has bought into the situation due to fully understanding the issue (they may not agree with it but they will understand the feedback), they may even resolve the situation themselves by finding other opportunities under their own steam.
However, on the positive side, an employee who does make the change is likely to respect and reflect positively on the experience (at least after the fact). Don't also forget the influence that your action has on others. They will see this action and it sets a powerful message that you and the team work towards a core value of improvement and high performance.
With all of this, you must prepare and have courage. Nothing in life of any importance is easy. Commit to it and reap the benefits.
Please see my website at www.managingforthefirsttime.com for more techniques, tips and advice on this topic and others.
